When I've completed half of my to do list, I start another one so the page looks a little bit tidier and a little bit clearer. I'm not uptight, I'm not a perfectionist. I just have a lot on my plate and I can't relax until I've written it down.
I keep my phone by my bed at night so I can quickly get down what my brain inevitably will remember at midnight rather than during the day.
There's just something kind of soothing about a list. It makes me feel a little more relaxed knowing that, away from them, I can just forget about my responsibilities. When I finally get round to opening up my notebook, they'll all be there to remind me just how much I've been putting off.
I said it was soothing right?
As a thoroughly modern and internet literate woman who will click on any article that claims it can help de-stress or show me "8 Ways You Can Boost Your Productivity", I've seen all the other ways I could write down what needs doing.
"Instead of writing a list that says 'To do' at the top, just write 'I can...'."
I've tried it and trust me, it makes me feel like a middle aged woman running her life on the advice of a trashy self-help book.
Mass to-do lists are most likely one of the most stress-inducing things I could do to myself. But, the humble to list is probably the only way I can keep my life together without relying on the help of a Pinterest board or taking inspiration from a skinny, tanned lifestyle blogger with a secret death-wish claiming that a banana-only diet is the answer to life, the universe and everything.
- Un-bookmark all those Buzzfeed self-care articles
- Get your life together
- Write another list
Part of my problem is this damning need to constantly be productive. I panic when the lists get under 5 points. Where is my life going? Am I doing enough to be successful? I should create more unnecessary tasks to make this list more satisfying. I absolutely need to enter this writing competition. Come to think of it, my room needs a hoover.
Maybe I should write a list of steps I need to take to achieve this thing? Like a sub to do list. Then I'll have more to tick off.
My bin is full of post-its with a list of five things from my 'big' to do list that I'm going to complete that day. It's infinite.
I feel guilty about watching Netflix. I procrastinate all day and stop myself from watching a movie in the evening or going out because I haven't done all 5 things, when realistically I've probably done a lot of things that I never even bothered to write down.
4. Write another blog post
5. Buy more post-its
6. Scrap the last list and write another one
Me? Addicted? Never.
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