The Tinder Test

Don't judge me. I downloaded Tinder.

I'd say it was for a laugh but I was genuinely interested. I thought I'd give it a go and see what happens. I've since deleted it but in hindsight, it was a fascinating insight into first impressions and how we judge people.

I went on two Tinder dates. Both just in town for a coffee and they were perfectly nice people but we didn't really click. I wasn't looking for anything serious however, I considered that perhaps a first date isn't enough to really assess a person. I didn't really talk to these two again and one of the reasons was because I wasn't getting the right vibes from them. Then someone recently made me reconsider that first impressions can differ a huge amount to how you might perceive them later on.

It doesn't just go for dates.  My flatmates, who I moved in with back in September last year, are not the same people I thought they were in the first week. I thought a couple of them probably wouldn't be the kind of people that I usually get on with but, now they're the closest people to me at university - physically and figuratively. I didn't even consider that we might have the same sense of humour or that we had such similar interests. Similarly, looking back on previous relationships, my first impression of those people was different to how I perceive them now and how I perceived them whilst we were together.
But, if we really took this to heart when scrolling through Tinder, we would pick out and look at in detail each potential date, studying each photo and why they decided to display this one and not another. Perhaps you'd talk to every single one of your matches, probe them with questions, even assess their use of emojis.

But, online personas are rarely totally reliable. You may get on better online than you do in real life. Maybe you think you like one person but you discover that they're different to who you thought they were. At the same time you may have swiped past someone who you would have gotten on really well with, a potential soul mate, someone you knew when you were a child but didn't recognise initially.

Strange how a simple swipe can dictate one's future relationships.

Additionally people will change in your eyes too, even if you've known them for a really long time. With the benefit of hindsight, we can so easily analyse past relationships and friendships which change our view of the person. Sometimes someone isn't who you think they are and their actions may surprise you one day.
The way you saw your parents as a child is different to how you see them now. When you realise they had a rebellious teenage lifestyle you no longer perceive them as all knowing, all good deity-like individuals.

Nevertheless, I feel like I base my friendships and relationships around people who I click with upon first meeting or people who I feel are similar to me. Yet, in contrast I have friends who are so different to me that we get on like a house on fire; opposites attract. I often people watch on public transport or look at people who are merely just acquaintances and wonder whether some time in the future we could become great friends or even lovers. I admire someone on the bus and think, if I start talking to them today, will I be planning a holiday with them in a years time?
I often look at people in my life and think, if I'd known when we'd first met what we've been through now...how weird that I had no idea at that point in my life.