Passing my driving test and getting a car has contributed to my wild longing for I now have this machine that gives me the means to access as far as my fuel will take me. It is an independence where I can discover the roads beyond, whenever I like without having to rely on my parents. That feeling of liberation when you're blasting music at night, on a motorway and on your own for the first time is utterly incomparable. A sense of adventure in me has sparked to life. Suddenly I'm hit by an urge to spontaneously escape out on midnight drives to wherever the roads take me because I crave the unfamiliar and I'm eager for the thrill of discovery which I haven't experienced in too, too long.
But whilst a short day trip to London may only satisfy my cravings briefly, I am desperate for more. Boredom must be non-existent and any form of procrastination has to be a distant concept that I no longer pursue whether consciously or without meaning to. It has to be somewhere where I don't need the internet to distract me, where my mind cannot wonder aimlessly away from the world within my grasp. I want to be somewhere that begs to be explored or written about and I want new experiences to come out of the wilderness and grab me by the already packed rucksack firmly strapped to my back.
Ultimately, exams are the only force in the way of this kind of freedom and the closer it gets, the worse it becomes. However, as my craving builds, the anticipation also rises. Often euphoria will occur sporadically. It comes when you least expect; you're at a music festival surrounded by all your friends and all of a sudden you're sprinting to Tesco at 3am and pushing each other in abandoned shopping trolleys and the stars are guiding you and you forget all your responsibilities; you're lying in a park in the sun with your favourite people and you can feel the warmth on your face and the grass on your back and you're listening to beautifully relaxing music. It is the best feeling and you don't expect it and suddenly life is great and it doesn't suck and every little thing brings you joy. But alternatively a life without excitement would not be worth living.
Jake the dog from Adventure Time said "if you get everything you want the minute you want it, what's the point of living?" and that is what it comes down to. The moments you value the most are the moments you have spent craving each second leading up to it and the ones that you have thought about every day.
It is the energy of the crowd at a music concert before the headlining band appear on stage. It is the lurch in your stomach before a long-awaited kiss.It is the unadulterated excitement before you step on the plane to travel to a new destination, the intensity as the plane lifts up into the sky, the butterflies in your gut as your face first touches the warm air of a new country waiting to be explored. And it adds to every experience. When my new life starts, I will value it fully.
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